Hi, I'm

Cloe
Bloom

Wife, mom of three, shortcut queen — and your new favorite voice of reason.

I always dreamed of having it all — a meaningful career, a warm and loving home, and maybe even clean laundry once in a while. Then life happened.

Three kids, one super-creative husband, endless laundry piles, impossible schedules, and Zoom calls without pants.
Yep, I learned the hard way that balance isn’t always pretty.

But somewhere between a baby bottle and an Excel sheet, I had a big realization:
It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to work.

So I became a master of smart, real-life solutions:

I figured out how to thaw dinner while replying to emails.

I learned how to organize a closet in 10 minutes — no tears, no Pinterest lies.

I started building tools and habits that made life simpler — without losing me in the process.

Now I share everything I’ve learned here, with humor, heart, and zero judgment.

You’ll get organizing hacks, kid-friendly ideas, kitchen shortcuts, and that sweet little reminder that you’re doing better than you think.

Because motherhood doesn’t need more pressure.
It needs more practical magic.

Welcome to The Bloom Family Project — where life is messy, funny, and surprisingly manageable… once you find the smart way through.

Meet My (Mostly) Functional Family

Hi, I’m Chloe — product manager by day, laundry ninja by night, and mom 24/7. I work from home (read: from various surfaces around the house), juggle a career I love, and live with four absolutely unique humans and one suspiciously needy dog.

Dan (a.k.a. the husband):
My partner in chaos. Dan is a part-time music teacher, full-time daydreamer, and the kindest soul you’ll ever meet. He’s the guy who’ll write a lullaby for the baby while forgetting where he put the diapers. He’s supportive, sweet, and slightly confused — but hey, so am I.


My Little Chaos Squad

Jake (11): Our resident tech genius. Jake speaks fluent sarcasm and is currently building “the next big thing” using a tablet, duct tape, and my good spatula. He’s brilliant, hilarious, and always one step ahead — which is both inspiring and mildly terrifying.

Libby (6): Creative director of the household. Libby believes glitter is a basic human right and that no outfit is complete without at least one crown. She hosts fashion shows in the hallway and gives surprisingly deep pep talks to her stuffed animals. Basically, she’s magic.

Mia (the baby): She’s small, ginger, expressive, and completely in charge. Maya is glued to my hip (sometimes literally), runs on bananas and giggles, and already has opinions about her socks. She may not talk yet, but her eyebrows do most of the work.

Pitch (the dog): Pitch is our loyal floor-cleaner, emotional support fluff, and sock thief. He’s part mystery breed, part walking vacuum. Wherever there’s chaos, he’s usually napping in the middle of it.

Together, we’re a little messy, a lot loud, and 100% real.

This isn’t a picture-perfect life — but it’s full of love, laughter, and the occasional cereal spill. Just the way I like it.